A Lincolnshire man who assaulted a woman will not face jail after telling a judge he thought it was role play.
Dean Wilkins, 36, who now lives in Sleaford, admitted slapping the woman’s face but said they often engaged in ‘rough sex’ after meeting on the dating site Tinder two months earlier.
A judge was shown a number of videos in which the pair had previously filmed themselves inflicting violence upon each other including firm slaps and punches.
They also admitted tying each other up with ropes and on one occasion using the safety word “egg timer” when things went too far.
Wilkins was alleged to have launched a violent attack on the woman after they returned to his flat in Venables Way, Lincoln, following a night out in which they both consumed cocaine and alcohol.
Police were called by neighbours after the woman ran out of the flat in to the street wearing only her bra.
She had injuries including a bloodied nose, a swollen left cheek, red marks around her neck, hair pulled from her scalp and a minor shoulder dislocation which required rest.
After listening to evidence from the pair Judge Andrew Easteal decided some of the woman’s injuries were not consistent with activity from the videos or inflicted with her consent.
But the judge said no one could be sure that Wilkins did not have the “honest perception” that it was aggressive sexual role play until it began to dawn on him outside the flat.
Just five days before the assault Wilkins had received a text message from the woman in which she asked to be kidnapped and tied to a tree, Lincoln Crown Court heard on Thursday.
On the night of the assault Wilkins admitted giving the woman a nose bleed when he caught her with a slap after they went back to his flat.
But Wilkins said he thought it was part of their role play when she ran outside into the street wearing only a bra.
He returned to his flat and climbed out of a bedroom window after his girlfriend dropped to the ground and told him “this isn’t role play.”
Later that night Wilkins sent two text messages to the woman while hiding in a bush.
The first message asked, “Why didn’t you say egg timer? Are you alright? I did exactly as you asked baby.”
It was followed by a second message which read, “Hiding, scared, I honestly thought this is what you wanted, I’m sorry.”
Wilkins quickly handed himself in to the police, but denied prosecution claims that he had repeatedly punched his girlfriend and pulled out her hair once inside his flat.
Judge Easteal was asked to rule on the two versions of events after Wilkins admitted a charge of assault causing actual bodily harm to the woman on May 28 this year.
Under English law no one can consent to being seriously assaulted.
Before giving his ruling Judge Easteal made it clear there were inconsistencies in both accounts and described the truth as “hard to navigate.”
The judge noted that at “first blush” Wilkins’ explanation for his actions may appear highly improbable.
But the judge highlighted the woman’s failure to use the safety word during the assault, her previous kidnap fantasy and a section of the video footage where she appeared disappointed that a visitor to Wilkins’ home was not invited in when she was lying naked on his bed.
However, Judge Easteal also found the injuries to the woman’s hair and her dislocated shoulder were not consistent with activity previously shown in the couple’s videos and were not consensual.
Wilkins was granted conditional bail for the preparation of a probation report, but Judge Easteal told him: “An immediate prison sentence will not be the appropriate course.”
The judge added: “You are a grown man, what consenting adults do in private is their own business.
“But you are responsible for yourself and those you engage with.”
Wilkins was granted bail on condition he does not contact the woman or go within five metres of her work.
He will be sentenced on December 20.